Why Do I Think My Boyfriend Is Cheating?

There comes a time in any relationship when you might wonder if your boyfriend is cheating or if you are just paranoid. If you have been cheated on before, it is especially easy to be distrustful and even paranoid about your new relationship. The problem with paranoia is that even if he is not cheating on you, if you drive him nuts with your suspicions, it could very well drive him to cheat or to end the relationship.

So, if you are in a relationship and you have a creeping suspicion that your boyfriend is cheating, what do you do? Do you look the other way because you think you are paranoid? Do you trust your intuition? It can be very stressful when you think that your boyfriend is cheating on you and you do not know what to do.

First of all, you cannot go accusing him because of a simple feeling. With that being said, usually your intuition is right. Our intuition is that little voice that tells us that something is wrong and it comes from our subconscious mind. As we go about our day, we soak up a ton of details that we notice and then forget. Only, we don’t really forget them, we just shuffle them off to our mental file cabinet and when they begin to filter back up, that’s our subconscious telling us that something needs our attention.

If your intuition is telling you that he is cheating, it is probably for a reason. Something that you have seen or heard but just did not pay enough too is circling around in your head, just beyond your grasp. Intuition is based on observations that you have made and then filed for later. If you intuition is telling you that something is wrong, you need to retrieve that data from your mental filing cabinet, and it will help you get a clearer picture.

When it comes down to deciding if it intuition or paranoia, you need to stop and think about a few things. If he is cheating, there will be signs and these signs are very likely what has set your intuition on full alert. If you go through the following list of signs and you none of these apply to your boyfriend, you can probably safely say that you are paranoid about him cheating but that he is most likely not cheating. If he is cheating, there are signs. If you find any of the following signs are true, then your intuition is very likely right and you need to decide what to do from there.

#1 - The relationship becomes abusive

If your once romantic and kind boyfriend suddenly begins to insult you or belittle you, or worse, every physically harm you, something in the relationship is clearly broken. A boyfriend who is cheating will tend to insult their girlfriends in front of their friends, or yours because they simply no longer care. They may be trying to get you to break up with them so they can be with the other woman. A word of advice; let them. You do NOT need to ever put up with abuse that is mental, physical or verbal.

#2 – Sudden change in his looks

If your boyfriend suddenly takes an interest in shaving daily, when he never did before or when he goes out with the boys he takes twice as long as he used to get ready, that’s a sign that something is just not right. When your boyfriend takes a sudden interest in looking his best whenever he goes out, that’s a sign. Another thing is if he suddenly has a new interest or has changed his wardrobe suddenly; it could be because he is trying to impress somebody else.

#3 – You fight more often

If your mellow boyfriend is suddenly picking fights over small things or acting aggressive towards you, then something has changed and he is likely cheating. When his demeanor towards you changes for the worse and he is nitpicking everything you do to start a fight, it is a sign that he is cheating.

#4 – Frequently gone

If he is suddenly working a lot of overtime but his paychecks are not reflecting this or if he is suddenly always with his friends when he would normally be home with you, he is somewhere, but it is probably not at work and probably not with his friends. When he is suddenly always missing in action, he is very likely cheating on you.

#5 – Phone call habits

There are two things to watch out for when it comes to phone calls. If he gets a phone call or a text and quiets his phone right away and tells you it was nobody important very quickly or he takes the phone calls but always walks out of your hearing range; then he is very likely cheating. The other thing to watch out for is if he stops calling you often. If he used to call you several times a day and now you are lucky if you talk to him every other day, which is as sign that he is cheating on you.

#6 – He becomes distant

If suddenly getting your boyfriend to talk about anything is a chore, it probably means that he has somebody else to talk to, or is afraid of saying too much and giving himself away. When he pulls away, becomes distant and stops talking to you or sharing about his life, it is a big sign.

These some of the signs that your intuition is right and that you are being cheated on; maybe only one of the six is true for your boyfriend or all of them might be. No matter how many apply, the fact is, if any of the above are true, you are not being paranoid and he is cheating on you. If none of the above has happened, you are being paranoid, most likely because you have been cheated on before. Just remember, that your current boyfriend is not your prior boyfriend, he has a clean slate. It is hard to trust again after being cheated on, but just because one did it does not mean that they all will. If there are no signs that he is cheating, he is not cheating.

See also: Signs Of A Cheating Boyfriend for a more complete list of signs of cheating.

comments powered by Disqus