Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Cheated On Him?

What if the Girlfriend Has Cheated?

While we mostly talk about cheating boyfriends, what if the tables are turned?

This is the age-old question, you have cheated on your boyfriend, and now you have a dilemma: do you tell him or keep it a secret.  The answer is not easy and it depends on several other factors that you need to carefully consider. 

The answer is not the same for every couple or for every situation and you might not like all of the answers that we have here.  However, you need to read this article with an open mind and be prepared to ask yourself some tough questions.  If you find that you cannot answer the questions posed in this article seriously, you might not be ready for a relationship.  After all, if you cannot be honest with yourself, whom can you be honest with?

First of all, there is no judgment in this article.  Our goal is to help you decide how best to proceed with your relationship, nothing more and nothing less.  This is a common scenario and you are not alone!  What has happened is in the past and dwelling on it will not solve anything.  Focusing on your future and taking a good, honest look at your relationship is the best way to answer this question and that is the goal here. 

People cheat for a variety of reason.  Ask yourself what the circumstances were at the time?  Is it something that has gone on for a long time?  Is it with somebody that he knows?  Is it somebody that you are likely to run into again? 

If it is a one-time deal, something that was a fluke and will never happen again then you should probably not tell your boyfriend.  If you honestly love your boyfriend and feel bad that you cheated, bad enough that you know deep down that you will not do it again then telling him will probably just cause a rift in the relationship.

The guilt that you will have to carry inside of you should be punishment enough.  Hopefully, that guilt will also weigh on you heavily enough that you do not cheat on him again.  However, not telling him does not mean that it is okay to keep cheating on him and staying quiet about it.  If you are continuing to cheat on your boyfriend, then our advice is to break up with him.  Obviously, if you are cheating on a regular basis than you are probably not ready for a relationship.

However, if the person with whom you cheated on him somebody that he knows, or somebody that lives nearby so that there is a chance of them running into each other, then you should probably tell him.  Yes, it could mean that the relationship is over but if there is even the slightest chance that he will hear it from somebody else, then you have to be the one to tell him first. 

Therefore, if you have confided in any of your family or friends about you cheating, then you should tell him for the same reason.  You never know who will really keep a secret and it is better from him to hear it from you and only you. 

The truth will be hard enough to hear from you but coming from somebody else it will be unbearable.  If he hears it from somebody else, then his trust in you will be gone.  It is much easier to forgive you for cheating on him once than to find out after the fact, from somebody else that you cheated.  In his eyes, not only did you cheat, but also you also never told the truth about it.  When you do not tell the whole truth about a situation, that is the same as lying and nobody wants to be cheated on and lied to both.  As hard as it will be to do, you need to tell him about it if there is even the slightest chance that somebody else will tell him first.

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