Moving On After A Breakup

You were in a relationship and the worst happened: he cheated. Sometimes a couple can reconcile after he cheats, but more often than not, a breakup occurs. No matter what the reasons are, a breakup is always hard and it is tough to move on. Moving on because he cheated can be even harder but it is necessary.

Keep in mind that life is beautiful, and there is a wide world out there where you can do anything you want. Opportunities are virtually limitless, and you never know when you might find someone else that will treat you better.

Stop playing the blame game

It is easy to start playing the blame game after you are cheated on and the relationship ends. It is easy dwell on what he did wrong or what you did wrong. This solves nothing! The relationship is over and you gain nothing by re-hashing whose fault the break up was; the fact is that you broke up! Does it matter if he carried more of the blame or if you could have done something different that would have kept him from cheating? Leave the past in the past. What is done is done and you will never move on if you are constantly blaming yourself, your ex, or a combination of both.

Forgive him

You have every right to be angry with him, but in order to move on you will have to forgive him. Anger is toxic, even to yourself. When you carry around anger inside of yourself, it will prevent you from healing and from moving on. It was wrong of him to cheat, but forgive him for it. This does not necessarily mean you have to keep him in your life, but you need to forgive him for cheating and hurting you in order to rid yourself of toxic negative emotions and move on. Nobody is perfect. It was a mistake on his part and the relationship is now over, move on.

Take some time for yourself

Being cheated on hurts, and breakups are not easy. Take some time for yourself: pamper yourself, do some of your favorite things and get your mind off of your sorrow. A major mistake that women make is trying to feel better about themselves by jumping into a bad relationship with someone else. You do not need anybody to "complete you." You are amazing by yourself and you need to realize that before doing sometihng you will regret. Go out with the girls, spend some time doing your favorite hobby or pastime -- anything other than sit at home and be sad. You deserve to be happy, with or without somebody, so make yourself happy!

Do not hold the hurt inside

Just like anger, when you hold pain inside, it will continue to grow until it becomes almost unbearable. Talk to your friends and family; get it out of your system. Write in a journal or a diary. Purge yourself of the feelings. Physical exercise is a great way to sweat off those emotions and it benefits your health! Start taking walks, ride your bike, or join a fitness class. Avoiding your feelings will only build up the pressure inside you, so work through it instead. You will be happier and healthier for it in the long run.

"I do not want to move on because I love him."

So many women have trouble moving on because they are still in love. The real question is, do you still trust him? If the answer is no, then you need to move on. , but will you be able to trust him again? He cheated on you -- If you can't trust him then you cannot have a healthy relationship regardless of anything else. It's true that you have a history together, but love and trust are two different things and you must have both to make a relationship work.

There is no time frame for moving on, it will not happen overnight and you cannot force it but you do need to allow the process to complete itself.

(See also our page on Regaining Your Self-Esteem - Don't let the breakup break you!)

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